First Thing First
Random Confession
Be-Loved !
Welcome to the
Buzzing Bee's.
Hush hush ; There is no other way , I get the final say !
And yea , Get Your Fucking Mind Clear Of This ;
I Am A Proud Girl And So What ?!
Fuck Those Who Goes
OMG ~ Over Some Silly Stuffs !
And This Is Why You Get Me So Addicted ..
The Rantters
Monday, June 28, 2010; 3:42 AM
Currently being so damn bored .. and hungry obviously .
Spent my Sunday at Mum's . Celebrated my chinese birthday .. woa , time fly fast .. All of a sudden , memories start gushing out ; all over again ..
Had a fucking big
argument with Scotty . He totally misunderstood me yet he could still act as though he is right & I am all wrong ; wrong ; WRONG ! And in the end , everything turns up fine *gastrict now man , pain* .. Had to explain to him that today is my chinese birthday and I really don't want to spoil this precious moment with my Mum & brothers . Had to beg him to give me face & stop throwing temper ..
Haiz .. Really , am I really so pathetic till I'd to beg my own boyfriend to calm down & let be enjoy the precious time I seldom have ? I love you but , must love be so hard ?
Damn tired but couldn't sleep at all .. And I am suppose to have work tomorrow but I totally don't know what time am I suppose to go . Tired of many stuffs ..
Recently , stuffs & thoughts just keep randomly pop out in my mind . Scary thoughts ; nasty thoughts ; painful thoughts that I totally don't even wish to think of thinking .. But they just pop out ..
Dear , do you still love me as much as you said or is it , you just think that you love me ? Tired , sometimes I think that you loves me truly yet sometimes , it feels that , you aren't mine anymore ..
Maybe we indeed need some time alone ? Aww , I miss you , I miss the way you talk to me in the past ; I miss the way you look at me in the past ; I miss the way you hug me in the past ; I miss the way you protect me in the past ; I miss the way you smile at me in the past ; I miss the way , everything that you'd in the past but not now .. 我真的好想你 ；好爱你 。但是这种猜测的感觉真得很痛苦 。
有时候放弃也是一种幸福 ？还不想 ，也不要 …
可是还能撑多久呢 ？
亲爱的 ，如果你是真心爱我 ，清表示出来 ，请表达出来 。
不要再让我患得患失了 。
放弃是幸福吗 ？
我真的不要放弃 ，我真的好爱你 ，爱的心都疼了 。Labels: Where are you (question mark)
Sunday, June 27, 2010; 6:17 AM
How To Love
Say It.When you say the words "I Love You", they should carry with them the desire to show someone that you love them, not what you simply want to feel. When you say it, make sure you really mean it and are willing to do anything for that special person .
Empathize. Put yourself in someone else's shoes. Rather than impose your own expectations or attempt to control them, to understand how they feel, where they come from, and who they are. Realize how they could also love you back just as well .
Love unconditionally. If you cannot love another person without attaching stipulations, then it is not love at all, but deep-seated opportunism (one who makes the most of an advantage, often unmindful of others). If your interest is not in the other person as such, but rather in how that person can enhance your experience of life, then it is not unconditional. If you have no intention of improving that person’s life, or allowing that person to be themselves and accepting them as they are, and not who you want them to be, then you are not striving to love them unconditionally .
Expect nothing in return. That doesn't mean you should allow someone to mistreat or undervalue you. It means that giving love does not guarantee receiving love. Try loving just for the sake of love. Realize that someone may have a different way of showing his or her love for you; do not expect to be loved back in exactly the same way .
Realize it can be lost. If you realize that you can lose the one you love, then you have a greater appreciation of what you have. Think how lucky you are to have someone to love. Don't make an idol of the person you love. This will place them under undue pressure and will likely result in you losing them .
Never stop loving. Even if you have been hurt before you should not stop giving love .
Labels: And this is meant for YOU to see ..
Friday, June 25, 2010; 5:36 PM
Happy Birthday RongJunWent to RivervalePlaza in the middle of the night yesterday to meet up with Kelvin , RongJun & Scott . Didn't sleep for like 24+ hours but manage to drag myself up .
Scott gave RongJun $10 for present =.= But at least better than me ; I gave nothing =p
Ate a set of student meal , slack for awhile and home again . Fell asleep at the sofa & don't know how in the hell did I end up on my bed .
Seriously , have I fall for someone who is cold-blooded ? It is like RongJun's birthday & RongJun actually message him asking him to go out because he is like at home . And you know what did Scott do ? He continue sleeping ! I can drag myself out of the sofa yesterday even though I didn't slept at all so why can't you ? What's more , you have been sleeping for 12 hours !
I know birthday doesn't mean anything to him but .. Isn't it more ' having heart ' to just wake up & celebrate with a birthday boy who is at home ? Heartless freak ! Scolded him & know what he says ? You very noisy la ! Wtf ?! Pissed off man !
And I am so glad that I already prepared to spend MY birthday without him ! As though he will care too ! And I am suppose to be his
STEAD Girlfriend !
Labels: But .. would you spend my birthday with me
Monday, June 21, 2010; 6:37 PM
Yah yah , now I am bored like
FUCK again . And yah , because of my stupid-ty , noob-ty & what so ever -ty , I am fucking being left alone behind again . And this stupid com is like so damn fucking slow . I hate SCOTT .
Labels: Scott Seo Chit Seng sux
Saturday, June 19, 2010; 5:49 AM
18th June 2010
Happy 4th month anniversary my dear .
Although it'd been a rock relationship for us but dear , I really love you alot .
Quarrels might have worsen our relationship at that point of time but darling , aren't we still happily together now ?
Thankyou for being with me all along although you aren't much of help regarding to some stuffs . =p
Without you , I won't know how to go past those torments from that thing . Yes darling , I am still sad , still pain & everything . But thankx to you , I am trying to pick myself up ..
Because of you , I managed to stop alot of those stupid & idoitic actions that might hurt me & people around me .
Darling , believe me or not but you are the 1st & only guy that I'd given so much to . Maybe you won't ever understand this feeling but do you know that I love you so much till it hurts . Oh darling , please love me more with alittle bit of patience & tolerance . I know I have attitude that sux to the core of the core but that is because I am so afraid that you'll leave me one day .
Oh baby , do you know how much how much how much you actually mean to me ? Oh Scott , I love you .Labels: This aren't enough to prove how much you actually mean to me . I love you .
Wednesday, June 16, 2010; 5:12 AM
Everytime I want to give up on him , there’s always something inside telling me to just give it time .
Hey , if you came across this blog/post , thankx for chatting with me . Am really feeling damn low but all thankx to you , my mood gets better but my stomach gets HUNGRIER . You asshole . How dare you eat Mac while I am hungry !
Yea , I don't expect you to buy for me but I expect you to send to me ! I want stamps that are pretty and cute . Hmm , take down my order . I want pratas .
Listen Look , I'd been a very fuck-up girl in the past . Really , I am sorry for what I'd did in the past and I thank you for not hating me . Well , I know this sounds kind of weird .
Anyway , you ah , if you truly loves that person , don't let the chance goes past . You know , in the past , I thought that " By loving , you have to give the person the freedom that they wanted " . But that was like such an un-self-loving thought . In fact , if you really love that person , you should not let that person go !
Because if you really loves that person alot , you will be the one who will protect & care & everything the most to that person ! Understood ? I hope you do .
So don't give up if you still have the feelings understood ? But well , if fate doesn't let both of you be together , then treat it as a memory .
Aww , I am hungry .. Anyway , thankx ..
I don't know how do you feel now but , please don't lie to me will you ? Please don't .. And can we eat steamboat again ? Please please ^^ I want RAW SALMON this time you asshole .
Labels: Everytime I want to give up on him, there’s always something inside telling me to just give it time.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010; 2:07 AM
你个性强硬固执又敏感，为人聪明机智而感情却十分脆弱，容易感到被抛弃或是背叛，会在信任的人面前肆意洒泪，在抱有敌意的人面前则是气势逼人，可惜这也只是虚张声势，会让自己越走越窄。
7月5日
性格： 7月5日出生的人不会有沉闷的时刻，不断由一个主题跳到另一个主题去、不断尝试人生中不同的事物。他们的兴趣和话题转变得很快及很巨大。很多人喜欢和他们在一起。任何人都不会指望他们稳定地工作和可靠。虽然他们爱追求机会、工作及生活漫无目标及充满各式各样的变化，到了二十八至三十岁或者四十二岁的时候，他们将会找到可托终生的伴侣和工作，从此稳定下来。
事业： 7月5日出生的人充满幻想和不断改变的兴趣，学业成绩平平无奇、事业无大进展。年长时，事业会有成就，但是他们一定要忠实地工作。
爱情： 这天出生的人会有极多变化的少年时期，到了成熟之后才会有稳定的爱情。如果太早认真地谈恋爱和结婚，他们会感到人生像失去了一些什么。
健康： 他们对于新奇的食物特别有兴趣，当心会因为吃得太新奇而影响健康。
Labels: Test ..
男人总会说 - 女人心 ，海底针 。女人则会说 - 其实你不懂我的心 。
女人总记得让她笑的男人但却留在让她哭的男人身边 。男人则会记得让他哭的女人而选择留在让他笑的女人身边
对的时间，遇上对的人，是一生的幸福 ；对的时间 ，遇上错的人 ，是一场伤心 ；错的时间 ，遇上错的人 ，是一段荒唐 ；错的时间 ，遇上对的人 ，是一世叹息 。
你到底是哪一个 ？
最爱我的人 ；不是你
我最爱的人 ；却是你
你最爱的人 ；会是谁
Labels: Do you
Sunday, June 13, 2010; 10:24 PM
难道我就那么不值得你去疼吗 ？
难道我就那么不值得你珍惜吗 ？
难道我所付出的你都视若无睹吗 ？
累了 。这一次 ，从头开始也无悔了 。
让我心动的非如今的你 。
离开如今的你对于我来说只是失去了那个容纳从前的你的 ；躯壳 。
心会痛 ；心会累但是心却不后悔 。
你能忘了我 ；能忘了我们在一起的时光但是就是不能我忘了我要你不忘的事 ！
你说得没错 ，就算你忘了 ，我也不懂得 。当时他会懂 。
放手是长大 ，是伟大还是爱就得学潇洒
Labels: 放手是长大 ；是伟大还是爱就得学潇洒
Sunday, June 06, 2010; 5:40 AM
I just hope that you would come across this some day or another even though you never read my blog automatically before .. But I really just hope that you would 1 day , suddenly have the urge to read my blog . I know that day might not come but if that day really do arrive , you would notice that almost all the posts are linked to you ..
I don't expect you to understand the pain that I am suffering . I know you won't feel the impact of the hurt inflected because you aren't directly being hurt .
I don't expect you to understand how much troubles I am going through . It is impossible for you to know what am I thinking because I don't really have the intention to tell you because I am afraid that you'll think that I am trying to attract your attention or whatsoever .
All I wanted was just for you to talk with me ; to chat with me . Is it really that hard ? Is Dota really that attractive & more important than me ? If so , why not you just go and find another girl who is obsess with Dota too ?
I am just another typical girl . I love the night . I love to walk around in shopping mall . I love to go on window shopping . I love to hang in the library . I love to do alot of stuffs that girls at my age would love to do & maybe some only purely my own beloved . But I am changing .
For how long had I not go out in the night ? For how long had I not been slacking outside but staying beside you while you played your Dota instead of accompanying me ? For how many times did I just let you sleep alittle while more while suffering the hunger myself ? For how long didn't I really went window shopping ? For how long did I not buy anything for myself ? For how long did I not hang out with my friends or even chatting with them ?
I ain't complaining or trying to show how 'nobel' I am . I know this is what a girl should do .. But do you understand ? I just want you to give in to my request sometimes .. Not requests on what to eat or watch but request on accompanying me .. All I wanted was just to hold your hand proudly and strot through the malls .
I know you need to work . Yes , I know about the money problem . But can't I just be sad for awhile because I knew the time for you to accompany me will be lesser ? Why must you scold me & blame me ? Am I really so useless ?
Do you know how scared I was just now when you guys nearly quarreled with Dewei they all ? You didn't know right ? Do you know how happy & how painful was I when I found the photo again ? Do you know that my heart hurts more than my knuckles do ?
I wanted you to meet your family was for your own good . Why must you fierce me too ? Or are you thinking that I am just trying to impress your family ? Hello ? But what is the point right darling ? It isn't as though you didn't know that your family already have a bad impression on me .
Seriously , I really don't know what is there to say anymore .. Am tired man .. Monday will be a new day & a new start ; hopefully .. & after talking to you at Buangkok , I am starting to understand what do you actually feel for me ..
Everybody needs to grow up .. Since life is starting to get boring for you & I already did my best - I believe - the rest is up to you . If you really do not know how to treasure a relationship or even me , then 长痛不如短痛 。
你连对于那个问题都能回答不知道了 。问你为了我 ，你愿意弃暗投明吗 ，你回答不会 。累了 。真的不知道自己在你心中到底有多少分量了
Labels: I ain't blaming you but blaming myself for being a useless lady and woman .
Saturday, June 05, 2010; 12:44 PM
Bleeding heart ? Gosh ..Days had pass but nothing could distract me forever from that thought ..The moment there is nothing out there to distract me , I will just fall into silence .. Silence is scary , they makes one think alot ..But in that silence , I then can feel this extremely painful-pain and only this pain can remind me that you was here , once ..I guess I failed ? Failed to do what I'd predicted will happen to me . Failed to do what I'd promised you . Failed to keep his heart with you .I miss you . Do you miss me ?Totally no idea , totally no idea on where are you , how are you .. I would have give up on alot of stuffs just to take a look at you even for just a minute .. 1 minute is enough , please let me see you once more , even in my dream ..Sorry but I really miss you .. I know I TOTALLY do not have any rights to do so after doing this kind of stuffs to you but I really miss you ..Labels: 还未结束的痛
Wednesday, June 02, 2010; 1:53 AM
FOUR types of medicines for
ONE whole week ..
Can I just throw all of them
AWAY ?
What is the
POINT of eating anymore ? It was because of
YOU that I started to look after myself , but , what is the point now ?
Feel so
EMPTY , feel so
PAIN , where are you ?
原谅我的懦弱 ，原谅我的不知所措 ，原谅我的无法言语 ，原谅我的胆小 ，原谅我的过分 ，原谅我的舍不得 ， 原谅我的爱伤害了你 。
我真的好爱你 ，我真的好舍不得你 ，我真的好想你 。
"人间有情" ？我呸 ！在我最需要支持的时候 ，你们所承诺我的却因为一通电话而失去了 ！
你们最多只是失去了多见一个人的机会而我们呢 ？！我们失去的永远也回不来了！永远也回不来了！
我怨 ，我恨可是我也无奈 。我很想你 ！
有一种爱叫作放手吗 ？我不想 ，我不要！
我好想你 ，我好想好想你 。
Sorry darling , I know when you see this , you will feel hurt too but forgive me , forgive me for not being able to find a place to pour out everything .
Maybe after this incident , we might lose or treasure each other even more but darling , believe me , I love you .
Labels: 失去了你 ，连呼吸都感到痛
MinGuang
March 2010
